If you’re single, I’m sure you read that title and said, “It’s all Gucci? Ya, right! Who is this girl trying to fool?” or “Who the hell wants to be single in 2023?”. Especially with that floating narrative that if you can’t secure a man, something is wrong with you, or if he cheats on you, you weren’t able to satisfy him.
I don’t like that so much of a woman’s identity is attached to a relationship. But I do know that we’ve been conditioned to think like this from a very young age. It started with Disney movies like Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, Pocahontas and The Princess and the Frog – all different stories ending with a “fairy tale relationship”.
Now fast forward, you’re grown, and it is no longer Disney: it’s Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram and TikTok. Everyone is posting their couple goals and rubbing it in your face that they are “a whole wife out here”. After all, it is only real if it’s posted, right? WRONG! It’s social media, sis. People portray their best selves. I’ve fought with my partner and five minutes later I’m posted up with him for the ‘gram to see. Ask me why; I got no answer for you. All I can say is, “don’t believe the hype”. But with most of us spending most of our day on social media, it is no wonder we feel like being single just ain’t it!
But here is the thing, why are we measuring our self-worth based on our ability to be in a romantic relationship? Do we need someone to validate our self-worth? I think not! Key word – SELF! The only validation you need is from thy self. Being single has many benefits. You get to focus on yourself without a man potentially holding you back!
Still can’t see the benefits? Still saying “I ain’t bout that single life?” Alright, I got you! Here is how being G.U.C.C.I. with being single is going to set a healthy foundation for a loving relationship with that future man:
G- Get out!
Don’t wait on no man to take you out. Go watch that movie you’ve been dying to watch or get dressed, look good, smell good and take yourself to that restaurant you’ve been eyeing. That sense of peace that will run through you is nothing short of amazing. It’s vulnerable yet powerful!
U – Uplift yourself through your love language.
Your future man will know how to love you once you know how to love yourself. Do you like words of affirmation? Practice some mirror work. You love gifts, buy yourself something. If it’s physical touch, head to the next paragraph.
C – Console that body sis!
Ain’t nothing worse than finding that perfectly imperfect man and settling with sex because, one, you’re scared to express it and, two, you don’t actually know what you like. A women’s sexual satisfaction is just as important as a man’s. Find time to be physically intimate with yourself. Visit that local Stag Shop, get a toy and learn where that g-spot is!
C – Call your homegirl.
This one is simple, we’ve all been single, and we all know some of the feelings that come with it. It’s nice to have someone validate your feelings.
I – Identify what went wrong in your past relationships.
I don’t believe in mistakes. I genuinely believe that all experiences, bad or good, can teach us something. Take the time to reflect on some of your actions or lack thereof. How could you improve?
By keeping it G.U.C.C.I., you will set the tone and have expectations for that future man. No need to settle because you’ll know exactly how to care for yourself, love yourself and please yourself. But until that time comes, it’s time for you to live your best single life – filled with self-growth, self-love and self-acceptance.
If you need help with that GRO Counselling Services is here to help. Feel free to book a session of individual therapy.
Great read!!! Upon reflecting, that narrative has been pushed in our faces at a very young age. 1. Does Disney have ulterior motives? Social media can definitely be seen as the culprit. But its what we make of it… right?! Is it being used for solely “entertainment purposes” or is that couple now part of our mental vision board for (enter year here)?! It’s post like this that remind us we are human and we can be G.U.C.C.I. WITH IT!